Tag Archives: hip replacement

As I was Saying…

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I’m back to see if anyone has landed on this page since I was last here a year and a half ago. Lately I’ve been following Instagram links about internet get-rich-quick-schemes, thinking maybe this website is the key to my financial future! But really it just feels good to be writing again. The last year has been filled with health, money, and other issues that I’d just as soon forget about. Sometimes I blame it all on turning eighty; other times I think it’s just part of life’s random suckiness. Anyhow, doesn’t matter. I’m here now; I have a new hip and don’t walk like an old lady anymore, as long as I keep up with my walks and PT exercises. All of which is time-consuming but worth it, so I’m disciplined. This month I had COVID and was sedentary for three weeks; it made a difference in my mobility afterwards, which motivated me to get back on track, so to speak, at the local high school. Then there’s the matter of my teeth; I’ll have new ones in about a month after a year and a half of healing and attempted regeneration of bone following a fractured implant. I was the one in five hundred who suffers one. Sounded like good odds at the time… Here in Northern California we are enjoying (!) a recurrence of chilly rain after a couple days’ reprieve. I got out and moving early today to make the most of it. I do not enjoy walking in the rain very much, though I can do it. My walking buddy, Judy doesn’t walk in the rain. I miss her, chatting and laughing together makes the laps go so much easier. We are counting the days till spring: 54.

My Hip Remembers

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Now that my body has been reminded my hip is the issue, not my knee, it is responding accordingly. A day ago, my hip was only occasionally a bit uncomfortable, my knee always was. Now that I learned my knee is not really the problem here, the hip has stepped up to the plate, so to speak. It hurts! And that’s a good thing, I guess, at least appropriate. I am blown away by this clear response of my body to the power of my intelligence. Once I identified with my body, it was such a reliable source of pleasure and prestige; Now my body is a kind of constant companion. I observe it, care for it, remind myself to love it as long as it is in my custody. Today is Saturday, I’ll blend up a special breakfast to funnel nutrition into it. I’ll take it to receive a pedicure at Fairfax Nails since right now I can’t reach my toes myself. It’s going to be a good day after a questionable night dreaming about letting go of the same house I always see in my dreams, a composite of the dream house I left behind with my marriage in Piedmont and the cabin I lived in for 35 years with Larry. It seems I am always letting go of this house in my dreams. Now I live in a rented apartment for which I am thankful every day.

Today’s the Day

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The hip surprises me with occasional sudden lapses, but the thing is, my knee hurts too. Pain referring from the hip, I tell myself, uncomfortable because of the extra burden on my hip, I tell myself. And inside, I’m afraid that I need a knee replacement too. Really afraid. I’ve heard so much about how unpleasant knee replacements are. Now that I’ve accepted the necessity for a hip replacement I’ve been so glad I’m having one; hip replacements get good reviews by comparison to knees: fast easy recovery. It took me a long time to get here, to this easy acceptance of the surgery; I’ve almost been looking forward to it. Now this. I can’t put it off any longer. Today’s the day. I’ll call to make an appointment for a knee x-ray. Knowing will be better than this constant grey dread. So I’m prolonging my morning ritual, which is long anyway, the comforting milky tea, the tangy sweetness of blended cottage cheese and pineapple, the supplements, the checking of email, all so familiar and comforting. I’ve really worked out a way to live with my disability that is more than tolerable. But today’s the day. I’ll make the call.

Chiggers

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Last night I felt okay for about an hour. Not that my body felt any different, but I had such a sense of being free from the swarming chiggers of anxiety, guilt and fear with which I am usually beset. The editor in me wonders if chiggers swarm. Think I’ll check. Yup chiggers swarm. They are ugly little things and dig in, bury themselves under the skin. I was free of chiggers for about an hour yesterday, but during the night they started burrowing and this morning I am scratching at the itchy welts they left behind. I’m going to research chigger cures and see if I can apply them figuratively. One old-time remedy was to bathe with bleach in the water. Chigger shock and awe. Think it’s better for me to take it one chigger at a time. So today since my anxiety has been focused on the fact that my knee hurts more than my hip when I walk, I’m going to get to work on that chigger. I’ll make an appointment for an x-ray and either confirm my fear that I need a knee replacement as much as a hip replacement or ease it. And today I’ll try not to read about tragedy in Afghanistan or Haiti. There’s nothing I can do about it; and my phone just pinged me that mandatory fire evacuations underway in a nearby neighborhood. One chigger and a possible fire evacuation is plenty to deal with today.

Day to Day

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I am able to work from home on a medical accommodation even now most of my co-workers are back in the office post-pandemic. I work efficiently here and enjoy having a structure. I can hide the extent of my disability even from myself. It takes two hours for me to get my day underway, and that’s not counting about a half hour of physical therapy. I do that later. I rise early to get the lengthy morning ritual underway; a heating pad warms and wakens my stiff body, tea with milk brings my spirit back from where it has wandered in the night. My body requires so much maintenance. I survey the contents of my refrigerator. It’s especially important that breakfast be very nourishing because I’m healing after dental surgery. The blender roars its wakeup as I whip together some cottage cheese and pineapple. A tiny white pill will slow their passage through my body. I hope! A lengthy list of supplements topped off with a couple of Tylenol and the body is as good as its going to get today.

Old Lady

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Think I’ll share the ups and downs of hip replacement. I went through a couple years of procrastination and false hope that my life need not be impacted by hip pain, but when my physical therapist Li said “Hip replacements are good!” and asked whether my insurance would provide a walker, I knew it was time to consult with an orthopedist. I hadn’t wanted to do that because I was pretty sure the recommendation would be surgery. After taking a tumble and fracturing my hip five years ago I recovered with minimal loss of strength and agility. Why all the scary statistics about life expectancy after fracture? I was special! I was good as new! Until I wasn’t a couple years later, and started having pain in my groin and thigh. Being a firm believer in the mind body connection I blamed my pain on my Larry’s sons’ unkindness to me after his death. I had acupuncture. I worked hard with Li, and was able to walk a mile a day without support. But then I went through a stressful time; the pain worsened and I reluctantly started to use a cane. I, who took such pride in my youthful energy and demeanor was now an old lady.

Eighty is Different

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I started this blog to celebrate being seventy. I was feeling good. My world seemed to be opening up, I found a spiritual path, Sivananda Yoga, I was growing stronger and more flexible every day from practicing yoga, I earned my 200 hour certification as a yoga teacher, which excited me because I wanted to share the growth and joy I was experiencing. I felt as if I was someone! Now I am here to celebrate being eighty. This year I experienced financial issues and health issues that I don’t even want to talk about. But now I’m back on my feet…or I will be soon. I’m in line for a hip replacement. For a couple years I warded this off by doing lots of physical therapy, taking OTC remedies, homeopathy, acupuncture, various mind/body therapies, subliminal healing videos on YouTube, releasing psychological traumas (at least attempting to), and meditating. But as much as I didn’t want to, this year I faced it. I need a hip replacement. And at this point I need it so much that I can’t wait to have it! Except that a dental implant fractured and required major reconstructive surgery to my jaw, and I can’t have the hip surgery till the dentist releases me, which is taking months. Just to set the scene, I’m using a walker and loving it; and I’m in danger of losing an alarming number of teeth. All this is not an image I am happy to project, but I’m putting it out there anyway!